|Just pretend it says 4:30am, ok? I really dig this clock.
I'm sure we've all had weeks in our lives where we felt like we were on repeat. Despite small shifts or subtle changes in routine or people, things seemed eerily similar from day to day. And then they didn't and things went back to normal (whatever normal is). Everyday now, I wake up and wonder if things are back to normal. But every day, I wake up, and life is still stubbornly stuck on repeat. For us, Autism has sauntered in, staked it's claim and decided that here, in our world, it's groundhog day, all day, every day. THIS IS the new normal.
I'm not saying I hate it. I am after all one of the world's biggest creatures of habit and schedules make me happy. What I am saying is, it isn't easy. We now live and and die by My's schedule, M's routine, M's needs. Yes, any and every parent does too, we are certainly no exception. There is, however, absolutely NO margin for error with him. M is a-ok with changes, he adapts well to new environments and is not fussed by people anyway, so adding new peeps to his surroundings doesn't phase him. The truly defining aspect's of M's life are simply food and sleep. And lord help us if we don't get the sleep part right the first time, we'll spend weeks picking up the pieces.
Sleep. sleep, sleep sleep. Maybe if I keep saying it, more of it might be had around here. It is a precious commodity indeed. Our groundhog day starts pretty much every morning (if you can call it morning....we certainly don't) between 4:30 and 5:30AM. Yes, you read that right, AM. 4:30am seems to be the magic number in the last few weeks. And once M is up, he is UP. There is no getting this boy back to sleep. So our day begins and follows the same routine, the same schedule, the same sameness right up until 7pm when, after he goes to bed, our 'alone' time seems to follow a pretty similar trend. Man, are we lame.
|see? fun stuff!
|don't drive angry!
I guess I just wonder and suppose hope, that with the introduction of M's therapy (which we are steam rolling ahead on...YAY US!) things may start to look a little different from time to time and maybe, just maybe, we won't wake up today and have it already be tomorrow, or yesterday. Only love.